


Lost

by MorganaNK



Category: Inspector Lynley - All Media Types, Inspector Lynley Mysteries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 18:27:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11950086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganaNK/pseuds/MorganaNK
Summary: A brief introspective from Barbara's perspective, set after 'In The Blink Of An Eye' but before 'Limbo'





	Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Property of Elizabeth George and the BBC, no copyright infringement intended

Tommy and I, we’re co-dependent, and have been for almost the duration of our partnership. It might be unhealthy but that’s the way it is for us, the way it works, or at least it used to. He’s been there for me so many times, I want to be there for him now, I need to be there for him now. I want to help him, comfort him, support him, carry him until he regains his strength. Whatever he needs I am willing to provide, if only he’d give me the chance.

I want to speak to him. I want him to tell me how he is, what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling. I need to know that he’s taking care of himself as much as he is able, but I’ve seen the pile of empty bottles outside his front door so it is obvious he is self-medicating. I don’t know if he’s been to see a doctor, in some ways I hope he hasn’t. Either way, I’m as scared as hell that he’ll do something stupid. A drop too much scotch, or perhaps he’ll follow his sister-in-law and forget how many sleeping pills he’s taken. I live in fear of the call that tells me it’s too late.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve tried to reach him, but I’m sure it must be in double figures. After the funeral I believed that, given a little time, he would come to me and I would help him find his way back to the real world again. I guess I was mistaken.

I’m struggling; almost drowning in loneliness, frustration, terror and despair. I know it’s selfish, but not seeing him, being separated from him, it feels wrong. He’s been a part of me for so long; my colleague, my partner, my friend and my family. I don’t want to think about a life without him in it.

I just can’t.


End file.
